


Fuck, Marry, Kill?

by FandomsofMine



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: But whatever, Delirious likes the attention, Fluff, It's cute trust me, It's longer than I was going for, Just bros being bros, Language, M/M, Multi, Strong Language, i guess, it was fun, lol, messing with their friends, nothing smutty, nothing too serious, quick, they all secretly have a crush on him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 18:30:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7279252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomsofMine/pseuds/FandomsofMine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Delirious finally decided to come around and do a 'reading your comments' type video. There is one question that catches him off guard, though.<br/>"Fuck, Marry, Kill? OhmWrecker, Cartoonz, VanossGaming?" </p><p>What could be the consequences of answering such a silly comment?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck, Marry, Kill?

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! This is a lot longer than I was originally going to make it. It was just a random funny idea that popped into my head and I couldn't help but make a story on it! I'll also be posting this on my tumblr so no I didn't steal it from myself before anyone starts freaking out. Yeah! This was a lot of fun to write! Thank you for checking it out! ~Enjoy!~

Sitting at his computer with shaking hands, Delirious looked over the message for about the hundredth time. Once he pressed publish, there was no going back. 

"Going to do a Reading Your Comments video! Send me your things as #H2Ohmygoshlook" 

 

It wasn't the implications that it meant, though that scared him too, it was more of he already knew what question he'd get over and over and over. 

 

The majority would spam him on his absence of a face reveal. 

 

But after finding a little tag (Courtesy of Cartoonz) called WeloveH2o, Delirious was so flattered that he decided it was time to try and do something out of the ordinary. All he had to do was click submit. 

 

Yep. 

 

All he had to do. 

 

This one thing. 

 

Delirious smacked himself on the side of the head. 

"Just do it you bitch!" He grumbled at himself. He turned his eyes back to the computer before closing them again and clicking that fateful button. 

 

"What's up guys! And of course you ladies out there! It's the one and only H2oDelirious! So today I thought I would do something a little different then what I usually do. I decided to do a Reading Your Comments video cua-cause I love you guys and why not!" Delirious took a deep breath. 

"Breathe, just..calm down and breathe. It's just you and your fans." Delirious told himself, using it to calm his racing heart. 

"So on Twitter this week I decided to post a tag so you guys could tag me in things that I could see here! You guys seemed really excited about it weh-we were even trending for a day! Which is super cool!" Delirious clicked on the tag and began to look down it. The first on the list was a beautiful picture of himself in his Raccoon mask, two peace signs in the air and 'World Peace!!!" written across the top in pearly white lettering. 

"W-wow. Great job on this peace! Ha!  Peace?? Piece??" Delirious laughed at his own terrible pun and looked at the description. 

"With that laugh I swear he could bring world peace." Delirious couldn't help but blush a little at that, but continued. 

"W-well thank you so much!! Let's move on.." 

So Delirious continued his antics of going down the tag; answering questions that came up, fawning over the pictures people drew for him, laughing at edits people made, and just really having a good time. Yes, he still had those questions of 'When will you do a face reveal?' in the mix, but honestly it didn't matter as much as he thought it would. They were usually told off by other fans or very politely asked.

 

He was thinking about ending the video soon since he had gotten around fifteen minutes of footage. He decided to look through a little longer when something in particular caught his attention, 

 

"Delirious! Fuck, Marry, or Kill? OhmWrecker, Cartoonz and Vanoss?? <3" 

 

Jonathan thought about it for a moment. Should he answer this? It was all in good fun. Plus the people listed were his friends that he doesn't think would mind him saying any of this for. 

'Oh, what the heck. It'll be a funny finishing one.' Delirious thought, shrugging it off. 

 

"Hmmmm, so who would I rather do what with who?? Ok let me think. So I can't choose the same person twice?" Delirious thought aloud, "I can't like, kill Vanoss then Fuc-" He began to wheeze from laughing at the mere thought. "Okay, okay. So I guess I'd fuck Cartoonz cause, like, how far do I have to go? I could just.. I dun- Just give him a quickie and be done with it? Would I be cheating on whoever I marry then? Or is this like- is this like before? Ok. Okay I'm gonna go Cartoonz; I'll Fuck before my wedding. So I guess I'll marry Vanoss! Yeah. We'll have- we'll have a Batman themed wedding!" He began to snicker again at the thought. "So I guess it means I'm kuill- killing OhmWrecker. Sorry buddy. I'll make it as painless as possible I suppose." 

Delirious looked again and saw he had a few extra shots now for his video. So, after a quick outro, he began working on editing and creating so that the screen wouldn't be just black. 

'Maybe I could play some CoD in the background?' He thought to himself, continuing to edit. 

  
  


 When he finally got the whole thing ready to publish, he was surprised he didn't think anything of it anymore. It was just another video for his terrific subscribers. It wasn't hellbent on destroying his life and he didn't feel as nervous as he did with the tweet. But still, something told him that there would be consequences for his actions. He shrugged it off and published it. 

 

_____________________

  
  


It was nice to know his fans loved the video. It was getting lots of likes and his fans were raving in the comments how excited they were about the next one, if he decided to do another. It really put a smile on Delirious's face. A notification on his Skype popped up, 

"Dude, wanna play GTA with us?" -Vanoss

 

Jonathan smiled and typed a quick agreement and was welcomed to a sight he didn't expect. 

 

"Cartoonz? You're on here today?" He asked his friend, once he put his headphones on. He saw his friend in the middle of an arm wrestle with OhmWrecker, seeming to be winning. Cartoonz gave a small grunt of affirmation before returning to his intense game. A quick ‘No! No! No!’ from Ohm and the game was over. 

 

“YEAH! Get wrecked Ohm!” Cartoonz did a victory dance as Ohm was bitter from defeat. Delirious chuckled and looked around, noticing the one who called him here was absent from the scene. 

 

“Hey, where’s Vanoss?” Delirious asked, even going as far as to check the Skype call to see if he was there. He was. 

 

“Right behind you, Bitch!” Vanoss called. Delirious turned around only to get sniped in the face by the man behind him. 

 

“Fuck you!” Delirious laughingly screamed. He respawned and ran back to the howling group and took a swing at Vanoss. Which Vanoss easily dodged making Delirious hit Ohm instead. 

“Hey!” Ohm shouted and kicked Delirious to retaliate. 

“I-I’m sorry!” Delirious scrambled away as Ohm chased him yelling ‘C’mere!’ “It was an aks- an accident!” 

But it was all in vain, since Ohm pulled out a pistol and shot him dead. 

“That’s what you get.” Ohm kicked his body as Delirious whinned about dying once again before respawning. 

 

“ALRIGHT” The owl man shouted, signaling the start of the video. The three other men listening intently at what crazy idea he had now. 

  
  


Apparently, his crazy idea involved glitches and car stunts. Which was fun for awhile, also great entertainment. At one point Cartoonz got stuck in a wall and was glitching all over the place before flying into the air and falling to his death. Which made Delirious laugh so hard that it was commented he sounded like a dying seal. Another highlight was when Delirious chased them around the city blowing up everything in sight. He got so excited when he saw one of the boys hiding from him he accidentally blew himself up instead of the group and ended screaming some nonsense. So it was a bitter defeat that he knew they wouldn’t let go of for awhile. 

 

Now, they were all standing in a parking lot and Delirious wasn’t exactly sure where this was going, and it made him a little anxious. He walked up to the group to only be confronted with Vanoss in his Batowl coustume. 

 

“A Batman wedding, huh?” Vanoss smirked at Delirious, chuckling a bit. 

 

What? 

 

“What are you talking about?” Jonathan asked. Only to be confronted by Cartoonz. 

 

“Yeah Vanoss! What ARE you talking about? He has to fuck me first!” Cartoonz yelled from the other side of him. 

 

“Wh-WHAT?” Delirious screamed. He could feel a heavy blush on his cheeks. To his surprise, the two boys began to argue over him. He ran over to Ohm. 

 

“I’m still mad at you for that. Why did you have to kill ME?” What was Ohm talking about he- 

 

Oh. 

 

**_OH._ **

  
 oh 

  
  


These goddamn idiots. 

 

Delirious sighed heavily, very annoyed now. The banter between Vanoss and Cartoonz seemed to double in volume and Ohm’s whining seemed to be twice as intense. 

 

“I would have killed you all if that was an option.” Delirious spat. 

 

“Aw, don’t be so grumpy, Hubby.” Vanoss cooed causing Delirious to go into a stutter attack. 

 

“I-I’m not your husband! Don’t call me that!” 

 

“Well yeah, not yet I got to get the rings first” Vanoss answered calmly. 

 

“Sh-SHUT UP.” 

 

“Yeah Vanoss,” Just like that, Cartoonz was at his other side. Oh God. “Shut up and let him enjoy his time as a free man. With me.” Delirious punched Cartoonz in the face. 

 

“I’m still upset that you decided to kill me! ME! Like I’d understand if it was Vanoss because he’s always trying to mess with you. Or Cartoonz because he’s so bossy. But Me? At least you said it would be swift.” Ohm was now behind Delirious. “But if you ever get sick of these two…”  Ohm leaned into his mic, creating a low, sultry voice. “I'm available.” 

 

Before Delirious could even think, Ohm was dead by two bullets in the head. One by each men at his sides. 

 

“Fuck off, Ohm! He chose kill for you!” Cartoonz yelled. 

 

“You guys are so gay.” Delirious laughed and shook his head. “That’s it! I'm going! Calling it a night!” 

 

“But, Delirious who are we going to invite to the wedding-” 

 

“I SAID GOODNIGHT.” Delirious left the group chat and game as quickly as possible. He could feel his cheeks burning. Damn, he never expected them to act like this. Maybe a joke or two but all that? No. 

 

But,

 

Delirious would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the attention. 

  
  


___________

 

It had been a few weeks since the incident. Apparently, it was all to annoy and frazzle Delirious’s emotions because none of the group uploaded the footage on their channels. Which Delirious was more than grateful for. It was also never mentioned by the boys. Which made Delirious even more suspicious to what they were up to. 

 

Delirious sighed and shook his head. Sometimes he questioned who he was friends with. 

 

The man walked out his front door yawning, getting the mail for the day. He opened his mailbox and saw a peculiar small, black box waiting for him inside. 

 

Curious, he opened it to reveal a ring with the batman logo with a small diamond in the middle. The words ‘Jonathan, my love’ engraved in the middle and a small note that read “Marry Me? No homo tho” in fancy purple letters. 

 

That. 

 

Fucking. 

 

Jackass. 

 

Delirious huffed to hide his smile that was forming on his lips. Was this going to happen often now? Guess he should play along. He quickly put the ring on his middle finger, which made it a little tight but it worked, and flipped off his camera while taking a picture. 

 

To HOODINI: Fuck you. 

  
  


A few seconds later he feels a vibration in his pocket, 

 

From The Devil Himself: No you’re supposed to fuck me. 

  
  


“SHUT UP!” 

  
  
  


________

  
  
Mini Ladd will forever be confused about why Delirious was so infuriated when Mini got the Fuck, Marry, or Kill and answered none. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated! If you have any helpful critiques don't be afraid to say those as well!


End file.
